Jyojo Dancer

{March 22, 2010}   It’s a start.
I’m sitting at the table at Phoenix’s next to her and her laptops.  I’ve accepted her invitation to come over for parellel work dates.  This is our first one.  We are here to share our goals for the day, edit each others emails, run things by each other, and keep each other company while we do our thing.  Mostly I am here for the hugs and cuddles before and after sitting down to the table.
This morning I had a dream.
There was a young bride to be.  She was going to be wed the next day to a dynamic man who she received an abundance of admiration from.  She lived in a house with her younger siblings.  I was there for the wedding and to help feed everyone.  I went food shopping and bought large quantities of organic fruits, vegetables and various healthy treats.  One of the siblings said something to me and I stepped away from my shopping cart only to find it gone when I returned.
Things felt bizarre to me in the house… I couldn’t exactly figure it out, but I was freaked out by the kids, in a “Children of the Corn” sort of way.  Although I haven’t (nor do I want to but that’s another story) seen that movie. Later that night I went to tuck the children in and saw my shopping cart filled with Reeses peanut butter cups.  I felt really torn.  I was freaked out by what I thought was some sort of magical thievery of my bounty and my desire to care for the children with my sweetness.
The next day, I checked in on the soon to be child bride.  She was crying and said that she was afraid that her groom didn’t really know her that he was smitten on the image of her previous life as a child pageant star. I was thinking that I wanted more exploration to all our emotional landscapes, mine, the bride, the groom and those creepy children.
At this point I wake up, fully realizing that I am all of these people, especially those creepy children… goonie goo goo. I stayed in bed for a while feeling anxious about the wedding and all the people and caterers and expectations.  I wondered if we couldn’t change it to a Spring Equinox Celebration and plant seeds of understanding, love and health instead of contractual ones.  Maybe even after shifting my attention to the freedom and care that I was desiring,  I would feel lighter and more joyful about a wedding.
So yes!  I’m starting today.  Whatever it is, here we go….

et cetera