Jyojo Dancer











{April 26, 2014}   long Goodbye ll

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{April 26, 2014}   Entropy

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{April 26, 2014}   Moons

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{April 26, 2014}   Velocity

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{April 26, 2014}   Together

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{April 26, 2014}   Right here

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I would like to leave a legacy of beauty to my sister Kimberley and my nieces Lindsay, Madison and Marissa. My mother and my grandmother were both models and I picked up a certain eye for fashion from them. It is my hope that my sister and her daughters will continue to have their unique sense of style, but more importantly that they will be successful in recognizing and deepening their sense of their own beauty and of the beauty around them.

 

I hope that people will remember that I was, like my mother, an intuitive cook, that I often had a grounded wisdom in the face of conflict, that I bravely picked myself up from a heart often broken and like my Dad, that fart jokes and silliness of all kinds had me rolling on the floor and keeping my spirits up no matter what else was going on.

 

I would like it to be known and remembered that beauty, compassion, gratitude, touch, and a sense of power in my world have been important ideas and practices of mine. I want to share that it is possible to feel joy and gratitude in the middle of a lot of bad situations. “Teenage girls are extremists who see the world in black-and- white terms, missing shades of gray. Life is either marvelous or not worth living. School is either pure torment or is going fantastically. Other people are either great or horrible, and they themselves are wonderful or pathetic failures. One day a girl will refer to herself as “the goddess of social life” and the next day she’ll regret that she’s the “ultimate in nerdosity”” (Pipher 1994, chapter 3). I want to share my awareness of wholeness and suggest to others to embrace the gray and not get trapped in the black and white duality that our culture perpetrates.

 

I would like to pass on, especially to my nieces the message that we grow into our beauty. Our society honors youth, but this is backwards. Beauty is about knowing oneself deeper. From that place of knowing, one can make choices of what to wear, how to comb one’s hair, what things to put attention on that will create personal style of being in the world.

 

I want you to know this about me: I love myself and I love you. I’m proud of myself for making choices to love myself. We can’t love others unless we first love ourselves. “Our concern for others must balance self-regard (care for the self) with generativity (other-regard called altruism).” (quoted in Buckley and Feldt 2013, 105) This is a quote about care-givers and compassion fatigue, but it translates to life as we women are still pressured to take on so much and to take care of so much in life. We can’t have it all, but we can have a lot. Choices need to be made and the best choices come from focusing on what our main values are, and what is most important to us.

 

I hope that the people that knew and loved me will carry on my legacy by being their own pilots in their lives and by practicing gratitude on a daily basis, especially when it comes to being grateful to the beauty inside them and all around. Gratitude is a crazy powerful tool. Oprah had it right when she got millions of people to jump on the gratitude journal bandwagon. I often let many of the practices that I know are good for me fall by the wayside, but when I do start the journaling up again, I can see the sweetness and joy in my life expand like nobody’s business.

 

Being ones’ own pilot does not mean that you don’t listen to other people, do things with other people in mind and in one’s heart. This means that whenever you make a decision that you realize that you are doing so, because it will lead you closer to your deepest values and that you always have a choice even when the choices seem grim. I hope this practice leads you to grow to trust your instincts, feel at ease in the world, make wise decisions and have less worry. I hope that this leaves lots of room for intimacy, fun, celebration, continued strength and endurance in your bodies and a deepening of your sense of awe and beauty all around.

 



{December 10, 2013}   The Long Goodbye

The Long Goodbye

mixed media



{December 10, 2013}   Postcard with my photo

Postcard with my photo

at sale at MOCA gift shop along with other postcards in my friend Nico’s Tucson postcard project.



{October 20, 2013}   Nowhere Man and A Whiskey Girl

Eh, they might have said

Eighty years old, so in tune

Foreshadowing death



et cetera